I have begun the journey! and in my opinion the worst part is almost over...the dreaded morning sickness. I can't believe how mild it has been compared to Sam. Yes I threw up 1-3 times a day and constantly felt nauseous, but believe or not it can be so much worse than that. Basically I am so grateful to have that phase almost be over. Even with the sickness, my heart has been in a constant state of gratitude for this pregnancy. Knowing what comes at the end of this journey makes everything I go through so enriching and spiritual. My current high does have it's own consequences, in that I cry all time. I have what I like to call a mother mind at the moment. To me there really isn't anything more important or more worthy than raising children. I am in absolute awe of my body and it's abilities and in even more awe of the process of caring for children. I used to envy people who had creative abilities oozing out of them. I graduated in art and the whole time I was at school I was in constant awe of other people and wished I could create something worth while. I have still felt that since of awe when I see artwork, movies, posters, crafts, statues, scrapbooks etc etc where there is a statement of creativity that just engulfs the viewer. This pregnancy has reset my ambitions and I realize more than ever that there is nothing more creative than creating a family. I feel a power within me that promotes my position as a mother to the top rank of importance in society. Recently I find myself sort of unamused by the once unreachable status of those who have found success in their creativity. We were watching the spectacular blue ray extended editions of Lord of the Rings and Hank commented on how spectacular the movie was as far as creativity goes. I just thought, "ummm...my son just learned to sing his ABC's...this is ranks as "quaint" in comparison" Obviously Lord of the Rings is a spectacular movie, it's just my mother mind that puts everything in perspective.
It's weird how I am starting to show already. So I am 13 1/2 weeks along. I had my first appointment on Monday and got to hear the heartbeat (remarkable). Hank and I have decided to go with a mid-wife and have a home birth this time around. I am absolutely blown away by the kind of care I am getting with my mid-wife. I have a birth team consisting of my mid-wife, her birth assistant and a mid-wife in training. Our first appointment lasted over TWO hours. The team was extremely thorough on knowing everything about me from my mental to my physical health. They said they want me to be in optimal health when I deliver this baby and so I can be a healthy happy mother of two. I am to keep a food diary and then in a month I am meeting with a nutritionist. They let me listen to the heartbeat for so long, so long. It was such a neat moment for Hank and I. They care about my concerns, my past experiences and are preparing me to have the birth experience that I want. It was such a great experience, I wish I could have an appointment every week! When we left it was hugs all around. So neat!
Anyway, we are very excited around here. Sam likes to tickle and kiss my tummy while saying "baby, baby" and then he shows me his baby in his tummy. I hope he doesn't get too disappointed later on. Hank tells everyone he meets the news. In fact he bore his testimony at church on Sunday and announced it. I didn't even attempt to ask him to keep it secret, he can't help himself. We feel blessed.
baby nathan in the bath
4 months ago